Megan....

Why are you saying goodbye?

On every rooftop we'll scream it out;

I can't feel like that, and I know it.
Slap me someone.
Make up my mind for me.


Let's run away, somewhere on the horizon...........

Coming to a new conclusion;

On Saturday we were supposed to go with Cody and Cheyenne and them to make a bonfire.
Me and Megan woke up at 10ish.
We stayed in her basement and played Guitar Hero and listened to music, waiting for someone to tell us what was going on today.
We ended up staying down there doing nothing but what I described above for 4 hours, until we finally decided to ask someone what was going on.
Cody asked us if we wanted him to meet us at 7-11, and we didn't respond right away because we needed time to get ready.
They walked there right away anyway, before we were even dressed.
So they left and they were supposed to be there at 4.

A side note: Megan's dad called and him and Megan got into an argument type thing.
He said "I don't want to argue, I'm in the woods" and me and Megan thought it was the funniest thing ever.
We couldn't stop saying it all day.

So we walked to 7-11 at 4.
But they weren't there so we marveled at the giant rice crisps thing.
Then they came.
It was Cody, Keith, Danny, Cheyenne, Shayne, Kayla, and Colby.
Then we had to wait for Griffin and Aamir.
We left to go to the pits.
Griffin, Keith and Colby wanted to go one way but we wanted to go a different way so we had a race.
We so beat them.
Then we went to the pits and started the fire.
We roasted marshmallows, big and little.
The flaming sticks fell twice, once they almost hit Kayla and the second time they hit Megan.
At some point during the night Brian and some of his friends came and scared us.
We didn't really do anything but it was amazingly fun.

Don't you sit down, and don't you scream at me;

Friday was the Hawthorne Heights concert.
My dad went to pick Megan up at 4:30.
I told her I was going to bring her shoes she could wear, and I was thinking about it all day, but I forgot them at the last minute.
When we picked her up she had some trouble closing the door, because our car is old and you have to slam the doors to get them to close right.
Then we went to McDonald's, and we saw this girl there who's in our baby class, she apparently works there.
Then they tried to give us the wrong order.
Then we left and when we got to Recher there was a short line, which was amazing because we got there only 30 minutes before the doors were supposed to open.
We stood there for only 30 minutes but it seemed like so much longer.
Then we went in and we said we weren't going to stand int eh front with all the people, but we ended up doing it anyway, for reasons I'm not at liberty to discuss.
The Mile After, Tickle Me Pink, and The Color Fred went and then Emery came on.
All of a sudden a mosh pit started out of nowhere, and I got hit in the ear, screamed, grabbed onto the guy in front of me , ;) , then pushed Megan back out of the mosh pit.
Then it followed us so we had to run way back out.
It really sucked because I was there to see Emery mainly.
We left right after Emery because Hawthorne Heights basically sucks now.
Then I went to Megan's house and spent the night.
Before we went to sleep we made macaroni.
Megan insisted that we make this white cheddar macaroni but the powder cheese was more like a rock of cheese and it didn't stir.
We tried to eat around the chunks but every time we accidentally ate one we made faces.
We ended up having to make all new macaroni, regular this time.
Then we went to sleep.

This has happened before;

Thursday was Thanksgiving.
We left at about 1:40 to go to my grandmothers house.
It was very uneventful.
We ate.
My cousins were there.
I actually talked to them this time though.
And I know this is going to sound conceded, but I though I looked very pretty that day.
The only thing I remember in detail was when Jen told my grandfather that my boyfriend was Puerto Rican.
And hen the torment began.
My grandfather has to make fun of everyone who isn't white.
I was pissed because I specifically told Jen not to mention that in front of my grandparents.
How spiteful.
The only other part I really remember was when we had pumpkin pie, which is my favorite type of pie.

Before I say goodbye;

Today I had to go home early.
I went to school and my ear hurt really bad.
Then Cody and Shayne looked at it after lunch and they said that it looked purple and I got all worried and went to the office and called my mom and she came and picked me up.
We were going to go right the place I got it done at but the drawbridge was up and we had to get Jen and Tues.
So we got them.
Then we waited until 4:20 because Jen had an orthodontist appointment and after it I went.
They said there was absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Then Jen got hers done.
Yes, I'm kind of mad because I feel like she's copying me but I can't say that to her.
But seriously why does she have to want everything I have?

It's so hard to be diamond in a rhinestone world;

On Saturday I got my hair done.
I got it dyed brown and then cut.
For some reason I started crying when I saw my hair when it was done.
I have no idea why.
I really like my hair now though.


Then we went to go get my ear pierced, but they said they wouldn't do it unless I was 18 at Positive Image, so we had to go on a hunt for Altered Image.
I got my industrial, and yes it fucking hurt.
Worse them both my lip piercings put together.


Then I went to this horrible place for lunch.
The food wasn't good, and there was this boy who kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye.
Plus there were all these little kids running around.
Then we couldn't find the straws.
Then these people sang a 5 verse birthday song.


Finally my mom dropped me off at Megan's so we could make a bon fire.
Me and Megan had to walk to the 7-11 to meet Cody, Griffin, Shayne, Dan, Cheyenne, and Colby.
Withing 5 minutes of leaving me and Megan were shivering and we had a plan to go inside 7-11 and wait for them but somehow they beat us there even though they ad further to walk.
So me and Megan thought we were going to Colby's house because we had to pee really bad but then we discovered that we were going straight to the pits.
There were already people at the one we were going to use so we had to go to a different one.
We started the fire when it was getting dark and it was the worst "bon fire" I'd ever seen because I thought it was dinky.
Then we snuck into Colby's basement and his mom found us all and we laughed hysterically, but it was mostly me.

Words are flowing out;

It snowed today!
I'm excited for that.
I love the snow.
Even though none of it stayed on the ground.
It was still exciting.

And I finally did my AVID project.
I did all of it but one part.
I'm so proud of myself!

Oh, and I never wrote that I got straight A's.
It kind of makes me sad that my parents didn't do anything but say good job for it, but I was still happy about it.

Remember to let her into your heart;

So, I've been fighting a constant battle inside for days now.
And I'm no closer to making a descion then before.
I'm just glad I finally told Megan about it.
I can't stand when we don't tell each other things.
But in our defense, we rarely have time to talk.
I mean, I don't have time during school because I have to because I have to much work to focus on.
We can't talk during baby class anymore because we're too busy teaching, or planning, or observing.
I can't really go over her house all the time either because I don't want to push it with my mom.
I'm glad we're hanging out this weekend though.
Twice this weekend hopefully.
And maybe even on Thursday too.
She still hasn't told me anything about what's going on, but I think she just needs time and a private place to talk about them.
Not in school where everyone can hear.

Girls make boys cry;

So during my weekend, I did absolutely nothing.
Literally me and my mom sat in her room and watched movies all weekend.
I didn't do my make-up work.
Or my laundry, which I think I'll do tonight.
I talked to no one, besides Cody for a couple minutes on the phone.
I should have went over there.
But I keep pushing everyone away.

Stupid, silly girl.

We both know that I'm not that strong;

"I can live without you , but without you I'll be miserable at best"

That's how I'm feeling right now.

I know you're trying your hardest;

My past week has been filled with nothing.
I got sick, which I'm sad to say was the highlight of my week.
Everythign is just, not right.
Nothing fits.
Nothing seems to be real, but it's not good enough to be fiction.

Someone save me?

I know I'll never die alone because of all of you;

I'm very upset that they banned gay marriage in California.
I really don't even understand why people care so much.
Love is love, it really doesn't matter who it's with.
I think people should just mind their own fucking business because it's not like the gay people are bothering you so why should you care?

It's all we know;

Finally I caught up.

Today I stayed home because I was wipped out from the concert.
My throat was sore, my head hurt and my calf felt like it was on fire, for no particular reason.
I woke up normal time and went with my mom to take Jen and Tuesday to school.
Then we went back home and I fell asleep until 10.
Then I woke up and got on the computer and started blogging and whatnot.
Then we went to Sears to pick up our vacuum cleaner.
We ate lunch.
Then wew ent back out to Wal-mart because we needed milk, shampoo and conditioner.
Then we went and picked Jen and Tuesday up.
My day was pretty much boring but I'm glad I didn't have to go to school because I was in so much pain and running on so little sleep I probably wouldn't have been able to keep my eyes opened.

You put the sun to shame;

Yesterday I went to the A Skylit Drive, Alesana, Escape The Fate, Silverstein, Chiodos concert.
My mom drove me to Megan's house at 4.
But before we got there she took em to Wal-Mart.
We got in line without picking anything up, then she said "Pick a pack of gum", so I did and then she wouldn't tell me what we were there for.
It turns out she was getting me money for the concert.
Then I went to Megan's and she fixed my hair.
We discovered that I have a little hair faerie that follows me around and knots my hair when I'm not paying attention because she brushed my hair and five seconds later it was knotted again.
Then we went down in her basement and listened to music.
Then we started crying because Cody was late to pick us up and I'd been waiting for 3 months for this concert.
When they finally came we ran to the car and we listened to Alesana on the way there.
We waited in the line and this really weird black man was dancing and I was doing everything I could not to laugh.
These people behind us were teasing him which was really messed up.
When we finally got to the first doors the line seemed to be all messed up.
Then before we went in we had to get patted down which I thought was really odd.
By the time we got there A Skylit Drive was already finished.
I bought Cody his birthday present (and Alesana shirt).
Then Alesana came on and we got in the crowd and almost died because we kept falling over.
Then for Escape The Fate, we found Nuggets and went up on the Balcony with him and Kelly.
Me and Megan danced and sang really loud.
We stayed up there for Silverstein and most of Chiodos.
I was happy because Silverstein played the three songs (Call It Karma and Smashed Apart) I really wanted to hear and one (My Heroine) they even played acoustic.
Chiodos didn't play mine and Megan's favorite song (Intensity in Ten Cities).
Darra, Katie, and Autumn got kicked out for throwing ice and she missed Silverstein which was the band she really wanted to see.
Then we left and Kelly (Cody's "sister") and her friend came to pick us up.
By the time I got home it was 12:30 and I just crashed in my mom's bed.

I know that your shy, just let me sing you to sleep;

Saturday I woke up early and went to Delaware with my dad to help him load his truck for work.
It took us 2 hours to get there, 2 hours to load the truck, and 2 hours to get back.
By the time we got back it was almost three.
Then my dad took me to the store to get books.
By the time we got back from there it was 4:25 so I was about 2 hours late for Cody's birthday party.
Me and Cody waited outside for Megan.
When we walked everyone looked up for a minute but no one said anything.
So me and Megan sat awkwardly on the couch.
Then we decided to play Rock Band with everyone else.
Me and Megan each played two drums and then we had to have someone else work the foot pedal.
We were pretty good.
We tried to sing a song about Jesus, but we failed miserably because we didn't know the words.
Plus Justin Bent was making us mess up because he was being so funny I couldn't stop laughing.
There was a secret room that people kept going in and out of and me and Megan were afraid to go int here because we didn't know what they were doing.
Then at some point everyone except Megan got on someones back and played their instruments.
Then we had cake.
There were strawberries on top and me and Megan recreated a scene from HSM3 with them to annoy Cody and Colby.
It was really fun even though we didn't really do anything but play Rock Band.
My mom called Cody's phone to tell me she was coming to pick me up.
She wanted me to go to Wal-Mart and help her pick some movies for her to buy.
Yes, I know my mom is weird.

I guess I'm never comfortable or situational;

Friday was movie night.
Me and Megan rode the bus to Cody's house, but not before we had panic attacks before getting on his bus because we were so scared we wouldn't be allowed too.
We went to his house and ate pizza.
Then we went up to his room and he played games while me and Megan played music on the computer.
Then Colby came over.
Then a few minutes later we left and waited for his mom to get home in the car.
I found an air-freshener that smelled like strawberries.
Then we left for the movies and me and Megan were freaking out because we thought we were going to be late for High School Musical 3.
It turned out that the Internet lied to us because High School Musical 3 wasn't even playing at 4:05.
So we bought tickets to The Haunting Of Molly Hartley and went to see Saw V.
It was really good.
I think it's the second best Saw movie after the first one.
Then we bought tickets for High School Musical 3.
I'm not sure why we bought tickets instead of just sneaking in, but what can I say?
I thought it was a good movie.
Colby and Cody were trying to cover their eyes and not watch it but we basically forced them to watch it.
We sang even though we didn't know that words.
Then when it was over we went to the convenience store but we didn't buy anything.
Then we ran across the street to Wendy's which was still open.
Megan used the bathroom and I got up on the sink and danced a little.
Then we left and started dancing on the tables by the convenience store.
Then I banged my head into the umbrella on one.
I found mushrooms.
Then we went home.
It was one of the best movie nights ever because it made me feel better then I had in a long time and I really needed.

I'm such an animal;

Thursday I went to S.A.D.D. with Cody.
We made Red Ribbons for the teachers to wear during Red Ribbon week.
Then when we finished that we went to the teachers lounge to get the snacks and drinks.
Cody tried to steal the Mountian Dew from the fridge.
I thought it was un-fair that the teachers lounge had air-conditioning.
Then we cut out drug-free pledges.
When we were done that, we went to art club.
I started making a postcard.
I got a number for it from Mrs.V for being in art club.
Then we left and I went home.

I fell in love for a night;

On Wednesday I went to Cody's house after school because it was his birthday.
I didn't ride his bus because my mom said I couldn't and I thought she was being serious but it turned out she was just joking, so she drove me over there.
We sat up in his room and played video games.
I met his family.
Then we went downstairs for cake and presents.
We had ice cream cake, which is surprisingly good.
His grandmother was getting me a drink and she tried to write my name on the cup but instead of writing "Steph", she wrote "Sterh", which caused us to laugh.
Then Cody opened his presents.
His "sister" Kelly took us to the movies.
We saw Zach and Miri make a porno, which was a really good but awful movie.
Then I went home.

Yes, I know this wasn't very descriptive, but I've been writing blogs for hours now.

I touched her ohh, she touched my ahh;

We had off school on Tuesday too for election day.
My mom let me go with her to vote at the school.
I found a "I Voted" sticker on the ground and then my mom got me two.
When we were leaving my mom made me grab a McCain sign off the schools lawn, then she made me get an Obamam one too.
Then we started driving away and I said I wanted an Obama sign.
She made a U-Turn and I grabbed one for myself.
Then we went to drop Jen off and we saw another McCain sign that had Palin on it so she made me grab it even though there were a lot of people staring at me.
My mom drove me over Cody's house so we could go and get Megan then go to Colby's house.
When she dropped me off Cody came running off his porch with a shirt that said vote Obama, even though she already voted and he kept saying"So your going to vote for Obama, right?".
It was hilarious.
Cody's mom drove us to 7-11 to pick up Megan, then she drove us to Colby's.
Griffin, Nathan, and (of course) Colby were already there.
We ordered pizza, and when the pizza man came we screamed "Vote Obama" like twenty times.
Thus it turned into the Obama party.
Me and Megan ran around looking at all the books in the house.
We found a spray bottle and started spraying people int he face with it.
We had to put boxes in front of the basement stairs because he had a kitten that had to stay down there, so when we were trying to get up the stairs, I jumed over the banister.
OK, well, I kind of flipped over the banister and landed on my head.
I found a book called "Making Love:A Woman's Guide", so we took turns reading it out loud.
Then Colby mentioned that there was paint so we had a paint fight.
We painted all over each other's faces and it got in my hair, as always.
Then we were chased into the bathroom and we washed our paint off and tried to paint war paint with "black" paint that looked suspciously like green.
Then we decided to use a Sharpie instead and we wrote Obama on out foreheads.
We ran out and did our war cries but the enemies were no where to be found.
Then we went upstairs and played truth or dare, which turned into truth because no one was picking dare.
Then I went home.

Who wouldn't let me be all alone;

On Monday we didn't have school because it was a professional day for teachers.
So I was glad because I never would have been able to make it through a school day after that concert.
I had a huge bruise right on the bone that sticks out of your ankle.
It was bright purple, so bright it looked like I colored it with a marker.
Other then waking up and finding that bruise I don't think I did anything interesting on Monday.

I love your starry eyes they yell surprise, surprise;

Skipping ahead to Sunday, since I can't seem to remember Saturday at all.
I went to a concert.
I was supposed to go to Lindy's house and ride the light-rail, but that plan never happened.
Then my dad was supposed to give us a ride and her mom was supposed to pick us up, but her mom went to work, so she couldn't.
I had to beg my dad to come pick us up because I really wanted to go.
We left to go get Lindy from the twins house.
When we got her she told me that she left the tickets at her house so we had to run over there and get them.
I was kind of mad because my dad was getting really pissed off at me.
So then my dad drove us there and we stood in line.
I was freezing cold because I didn't wear a jacket so me and Lindy shared her jacket.
For some reason it smelled like toast and the guy in front of us claimed it was because of the marker they were using to put X's on our hands with but it smelled like toast before they broke out the marker.
We had a long conversation about Megan and nothing was solved in it, so I don't know what to do about it.
We had to walk up stairs when we got in and we were talking about how it would suck if someone fell down the steps, and then I almost fell down the steps.
Then I wanted to buy a shirt, but I couldn't decide which one to get.
It was the hardest decision of my day, but I finally settled on a Four Letter Lie shirt.
We were standing there and Emarosa came on.
Then before Four Letter Lie came on these two guys slid in front of us and asked us if we minded if they danced.
We said no because we didn't and they were really cute too.
They started moshing, which wasn't the kind of dancing we had in mind, but....
Lindy pushed me into this guy who was moshing so I got dragged in the mosh pit.
So when I freed myself I tried to push her in, but it didn't work.
Then I jumped in myself and so did she.
When we got out I had gotten poked in the eye and my contact fell out, Lindy's earring got ripped out and some guy lost his shoe.
Then Breathe Carolina came on, me and Lindy somehow managed to get all the way up to the front right by the stage.
Then PIERCE THE VEIL came on!!!!!
I love them.
They had the lead singer of Emarosa come and sing a song with them and he grabbed my hand and held it for at least three minutes.
My goal was to touch the lead singer of PTV, but I didn't get the chance.
There was this girl pushing me the whole time, so eventually I got fed up and pushed her head and then she stopped.
It was hot, sweaty, and hard to breathe, but it was so worth it.
They played both my favorite songs and they played Beat It by Michael Jackson, Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, and Closer by Ne-yo.
I called my dad to tell him that it was over and I made him bring us water because we were parched.
I had a wonderful time.

Narcotic sweet talk;

So, I'm more then a week behind with my blogs.
I've done so much stuff in this past week, so please try to bear with me while I try to remember it all.

Friday was Halloween.
I was freaking out in the morning because Jen was taking forever to get ready.
So then my mom drove erratically to the school so I could get my books from Cody, because I left them at his house.
I dressed up as Harry Potter (my idol).
xD
So it sucked because most of my teachers made us do work even though it was Halloween, I mean come on.
So then when school let out me and Megan went to ride her bus.
We were hindered form getting on because her bus driver was checking bus cards and neither of us had them.
So we decided to walk to Megan's.
Which is considerably far away from the school.
Then I saw my dad drive by, which sparked my memory.
My mom was probably up at Tuesdays school waiting for her.
So we turned around and headed for the middle school.
On the way, a frightening bee made me have a "ditherspazz" in the words of Megan.
We sat in the car and my made me make a list of songs she wanted on her CD that I'm supposed to be making, though she wasn't telling me anything because she kept saying "I want that one song", but she didn't know who sang it, what song it was, or any of the words.
So then my mom drove us to Megan's, but only after we drove around for twenty minutes looking for gas until she finally deemed every gas station unfit for our presence.
So me and Megan sat in her kitchen listening to music.
We ate Harry Potter blood pops which tasted like strawberries.
Then we pretended to put lipstick on with them because they were the kind that turn your mouth a color.
Then we watched music videos and imitated the people in them and their funny hand motions.
Then Megan's dad came home and drove us to Kayla's.
But he had to stop at the bank first, so he let us sit in the car.
I honked the horn at some lady and for some reason we screamed even though we knew it was coming.
Then her dad came to the window and scared us and I screamed, fell out of the seat, and cut my leg.
So we got dropped off at Kayla's and waited for Cheyenne, Dan, Shane, and Cody.
Me and Megan had a glitter fight and she gave me a glitter 'stache and and glitter nose becasue all magic people have glittery noses.
When Cheyenne got there she told Kayla that this kid Billy was there.
Long story short, he wasn't supposed to be in Arbutus.
So we went on a wild goose chase, which ultimately ended in the police being called but not doing anything about it.
Me and Megan did the thriller, even though we had no idea how it went.
So we eventually went to go get Milk Bottle.
Then we went back to Kayla's house.
So we sat there for a while until we eventually decided to go trick or treating at 8.
So nobody was still giving out candy so we hardly got any.
We walked to Mike Bingman's house.
We drank water and ate some candy and traded candy.
Then Megan got a text message about how the bloods and crips were killing 32 girls each on Halloween.
Kayla had to take her sister back home so we cut through the graveyard.
Milk Bottle lost his phone so me, Megan, and Cody stayed behind while Mike went to look for it at his house.
Then we found it so we had to walk back through the graveyard all by ourselves.
When we got back to Kayla's we had to sit outside because they were getting yelled at for cutting through the graveyard even though it was the fastest was home.
Then we sat in Kayla's basement and attempted to listen to music, but her computer wasn't working.
Then I tried to brush people's hair but they wouldn't let me.
I called my mom and we waited out on the porch for her and it took her a long time to get there, so I thought she got lost.
She told us that all the roads near our house were blocked off so she had to go a different way that she didn't know.
Me and Megan thought that it was because of the bloods and the crips but I found out it was because a building burned down.
So I went home and looked at my candy and my mom told me I got robbed.

I'm working on my play on words;

Thursday was both fun and not fun.
The whole school day sucked ass.
I felt like crap.
I felt like Megan was ignoring me and I really needed her to be there for me.
I was just over-reacting though, which I seem to be doing and awful lot lately.
So I went to S.A.D.D. with Cody and we finally finished our poster for red ribbon week.
I went to Art Club to try and talk to Megan but the first time I went she seemed really busy and I thought she was ignoring me (over-reaction), so I left and went to the bathroom and cried (over-reaction) like a typical high school girl cliche.
Then I went back to S.A.D.D. and had a melt-down where I had to stand in the hallway (over-reaction).
Then Cody really wanted me to go to art club and talk to Megan so he came with me and she wasn't there.
Darra let me use her phone to call her but she didn't answer.
Then Darra didn't believe me that I dated Cody so I randomly yelled across the room "Cody, aren't you me boyfriend?" and he looked at me all confused for a minute until he finally said yeah.
It was really funny.
Then Cody's mom came and picked us up.
We went and picked up Aaron and then went to his house.
I was attacked by dogs as soon as I walked in the door.
We went up to his room where we did things you don't need to know about.
Sike, we played Fallout 3 and I read a book.
Then I actually killed two things in the game and I bet Cody he couldn't kill every single person in the town, a bet which he lost by the way.
Then we were 30 minutes late to the cafe.
We saw everyone else outside so we waited with them.
I went inside to find Megan so we could talk.
I found her and she had a kitty face painted on her.
So we stood in the corner and talked everything out.
I'm really glad I have a friend as cool as Megan who I can talk to about everything.
Then Megan painted a kitty face on me.
We walked around with Nuggets because there was something wrong with him but he was very elusive about it.
We went to Speedy Mart and he forced us to get something so we got Tropical Carrot juice.
It actually isn't as bad as it sounds.
It tastes like oranges except the after-taste is carrot like.
Then we came back and talked with Darra.
Me, Megan, and Timmy had a three-some triangle.
Then Me, Megan, and Darra got our picture taken because we were all kitties.
Me, Megan, and Cody had a three-some triangle after that.
All I remember after that was a horrible "brownie", and a lot of commotion at the flag-pole and by the stump of emo tree.

I'm working on my sentences;

So I basically went this whole week without remembering anything.
I only remember Thursday and Friday.
Wow, I have the memory of a 93 year old Alzheimers patient.