Gore dried black as rainbows;

Right now, I am going to put the biggest cliche in the world, in my blog. That would be:love is pain, or love hurts. Don't try to deny it. You really only have to like someone for it to hurt, but love makes it hurt worse. If your parents hit you, doesn't it hurt more (emotionally) then if another kid hits you? You most likely love your parents, which is why they cause pain, even if they call you a name, it hurts, bad.

Of course if you've never loved someone, you can't possibly grasp how much they can hurt you.
Trust me, I've been hurt, and I'll give you three guesses as to whom it was who hurt me.
If you said boys (a.k.a. the root of all evil) you are correct.

OK, not that this boy dumped me, or hit me, or cheated on me. All he did was love me and move to Florida, then New York. And that's enough to do it.
You see, I met this boy whom we will call "Nigel" (which just so happens to be his real name) in 8th grade. As soon as I saw him, I knew I wanted to become his girlfriend, no matter what it took. Apparently all it took was one compliment about how nice he smelled and that did it.

We started dating. First we mostly just talked on the phone because, oh so conveniently, he asked me out the day before winter break, so we didn't see much of each other the first week we dated. We did normal boyfriend girlfriend things, sat next to each other at lunch, held hands, and went to the movies. And then out of the blue, he told me he loved me. I said it back, but at the time I wasn't positive if I really did. I mean, I had never been in love before, so how was I supposed to know. One day, something in me clicked, and I knew I loved him too.

Now, I know you're probably saying "Hold up, you can't fall in love in 8th grade!" B.S. There is no such thing as too young to know what love is. I mean you know you love your parents and your friends when you're little, right? I could really care less if you believe me or not. Love knows no boundaries, ages, or bank accounts. Love is love, plain and simple, in a pea-pod.

And if your wondering, when you are in love, time can seem to stop, your heart may feel as though it skipped a beat or jumped out of your chest, and you will get butterflies when they smile at you.

So, getting to the point. He tells me he is moving to Florida with his mother, who doesn't like e, by the way.
He moves.
Gone.
Not around.
We decided to try long distance, but halfway through my summer, he calls me and says it's not working out. He claimed it was so he didn't hurt me, part of me can believe that, and the other half me wants to.

Now, getting to the point, for real. I'm a wreck. Crying all the time, in and out of the guidance office, not eating, not sleeping, looking a mess. He calls and says he loves me but I don't understand how he could if he dumped me. Then he stops calling , and we lose contact all together. I think about him everyday, dream about him every night. Everything I did reflected him somehow, it was almost as if he could control me without talking to me. Since he spent 2 months living at my house, every room I would walk into would remind me of him. He visits Maryland, but for some unknown reason, I never get to see him. It's almost as if he's dead. Which is what i tell myself sometimes because I feel it is easier to handle that way.

I can't even put into words how much it hurts, how much I kiss him. We talk now, but it doesn't make it easier. Since I haven't seen him in over a year, I can't be sure that I still love him, but I know I still care. My heart still jumps when I hear his voice, and I feel butterflies climbing up my throat.