I'm a gangsta, gangsta;

Where to begin?
I haven't written anything for a long time and I guess the reason is, I haven't had any time.
I've been busier then a bee.

First: Moving.
Who knew we could have so much stuff in such a small fucking house!
I'm so sick of having to do everything myself because the rest of my family is to fucking lazy.
My entire body has been shot.
I can barely move my arm muscles.
And I still have to put everyhting in my room away.
But I can't until my dad builds the wall.
Which who knows how long that could be!
I cannot live in a room you can hardly move around.
I have to got to school on top of that.
Then I have my grades to worry about along with the fear of someone finding out that I moved and making me go to city school.

Me and Mike broke up and I already have a new boyfriend.
Mike's pissed and I can't help but feel guilt and whorish.
I feel like all those "typical" girls who go through boys like water.

Shawn is seriously getting on my fucking nerves.
Him and his stupid girfriend.
He keeps saying stupid shit to me about how I am.
How the fuck does he know how I am?
And his girlfriend is trying to get my new boyfriend to break up with me.
I can't believe people sometimes.

Megan had sex.
For the first time.
I don't know how to feel.
Dissapointed?
Proud?
Worried?
Happy?
I'm mostly just feeling confused.
I didn't think she would.
I'm just glad shes no different.
Even though we never have time to talk anymore.
I feel like she doesn't tell me everything anymore.

Cody's confusing me too.
I mean, I like him, but he's my friend.
I have a boyfriend too.
I just couldn't bear to have our friendship ruined.

Which reminds me, I can't wait until the movies tomorrow.
Megan better go.
I need them to make me feel better about all of this.
They can cheer me up.
I wonder what we're going to see.