Wednesday, April 30, 2008

K-I-S-S I'm in distress;

Well, this is my last blog for the month.
The big 100!

Me and Megan made a pact to stop at 100.
So we both win.

Mall on Friday, and Cody is coming.
I hope things work out.
If you know what I mean.
Which you probably don't but anyway....
Happy last day of April!


(Don't ask me why this is unnecessary big)

He's got the whole world in his hands;

Religions are just whores who are willing to open their legs to anybody in my opinion.
They will do anything to get someone to come inside.
Then they take you money.

Just like a whore!

I wanna eat you up;

Please, please please let this concert thing work out tomorrow.
I really want to go!

I will love the world forever!
PLEASE!

If you say never, I'll say lie

I'm so excited for this weekend.
Me Megan and Lindy are supposed to go to Devon's house.
I have never met him, but I hope he is fun.

It needs to be mind-blowing this weekend!

Bang, Bang, guns go bang;

Wow, people really aer stupid these days.
I mean there was some playboy model, who though Ohbama was Umbama.
Then she said Osama Bin Laden.

Well, There you go boys, that is what you drool over all the time.
A stupid girl with fake boobs.
I hope your proud.

Tomorrow I might change my name;

Oh boy.
I have so much to do before Friday.

I have to do laundry.
I have to clean half of my room since I share with my sister.
I have homework to do that actually has to be done tonight.

My my and I might go to a concert tomorrow so I need to get a move on it.

Life as we know it;

I wish I still had cable.
Then I could watch T.V. land too.

But I don't and plus my mother is the only one who can control the T.V.
I never get to pick what I want to watch.

Humph.

Well versed in ways of the world;

It's a tie so far.
Yes, I still have a chance.

Maybe if I type super fast, but you have to remember it is dark in here.

One day women will all become monsters;

I think books are a much better form of entertainment then movies.

I mean in a movie, you can only imagine what is put right in front of you.
Books leave anything open for debate.
A person can look like anything you want.

I ♥ books!

If I lay here would you lie with me and just look at the stars;

You know I think that racism is expressed in Harry Potter.
In the fighting between Griffyndor and Slytherin.

Blacks and whites.
They don't like each other, but they are forced to live with each other.

Symbolization, what a great thing!

Envy the living;

Megan is a superb writer.
She doesn't realize it, but she is.

he makes me green with jealousy!
But that's OK, because we all have things that we are good at, and writing just isn't my thing.
Plus green is my favorite color!

You make me happy when skies are grey;

Wow.

We have literally 30 days of school left.

That means no more seeing people everyday.
No ore skipping (even though we won't have to).

But the good things are no more tests.
No more rude people, or annoying teachers, or grades to worry about.

5 weekends.
That's all.

This summer needs to be epic!

You've just got to find the silver lining;

It is extremely dark in my house.
Really dark.
It's hard to see the keys.

Thank Ryan Reynolds for spell check!

We could take off each others clothes;

Ha.
A man got arrested for trying to steal Grand Theft Auto.

How ironic.
Stealing a game about stealing things.
People these days.

It's not like that game is even that good.

Art is what you can get away with;

I agree with Megan that people need to be taught a lesson.
I mean they just run their mouths and never take action.

They complain about everything, and always have an excuse.
Pessimistic people should stay away from me because I am completely to happy for them.

I mean you can smack a person in the face but they still won't learn.
For some reason I feel like I'M TALKING ABOUT A DOG.

Everything you own in a box to the left;

I wish my life was like a movie.
Where parent were nice.
Kids could get away with anything.
And everything was always an important life lesson.

My life is no where near that.
I wish though.

I've got a pocketful of sunshine;

I wonder why everyone is always complaining about Lansdowne high.
It isn't that bad.

I mean we can get away with a lot more.
And people don't get shot there or anything.
And people won't beat you up for no reason.

Catonsville had a bomb threat everyday for a week and we are the worse school.
There is nothing wrong with Lansdowne.

Everybody walk the dinosuar;

You know, I would buy the new Backseat goodbye CD and burn it for her.

But she is still winning.
She must be punished.

Dear dairy, my teenage angst has a bodycount;

You know, I really enjoy having chorus first period.
Since we have to be energetic, and smile, it prepares me for the rest of the day.
I smile all day long, and I need energy to deal with high school.
And singing i s my passion.
I really love it.
I wish I was good enough to become a famous singer.

Battle royale;

I am going to win the BATTLE ROYALE OF THE BLOGS AGAINST MEGAN!
Bwahahahahahaahahahaahahahhahahahahahahha.

Waterfalls of caramel;

My father turns the air conditioning on in the spring too.
When it is not even remotely warm.
Then I freeze.

Why does it seem like boys never get cold.
Are they some sort of non-human entities who are cold blooded?

You can stand under my umbrella;

I have devised a plan.
I may just write my essays in my blog!
That way I can do my homework and still beat Megan.
But then again, it will take me a while to type them.
And I don't think anyone will want to read 750 words about woman's roles in the 1920's to 1940's.

I wouldn't.

You are what beautiful is;

Uggghh.
I have two essays due tomorrow for English.
One is 750 words and the other is 300 I think.
But I can't get offline because then I will lose!
I must win.

Still I don't want to fail.
Even though my teacher annoys me a little.

But I never give up!

And I hope you burn for the pain you caused;

You know that feeling you get when you are going down on a roller coaster?
That's how I feel right now because of my government test I took today.
I thought I did really well, but usually when I get that feeling, I bomb it completely.

It's like the complete opposite.
Why does life do that to you?

From the depths of dreams;

Grr.
I am so determined to win the blog thing.
I will prevail over Megan anyway possible!

She will be defeated!

Signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours;

I am seriously sick and tired of people calling me "emo" all the time.
I AM NOT EMO!
I don't cut myself, and I don't mope around all the time.
I hardly even dress like "emo" people do.

And then the "scene" thing.
I mean what are you part of a movie?
(Ha ha get it?)
I despise labels, more then anything, except war.
I really don't even know what that means.

Lies for the liars;

Yes!
My mother finally got me new razors!

No, not the kind emo's cut themselves with.
The kind you save with.
I really need them, because my old razors are all dull.
And I really need to shave.

So deep that it didn't even bleed;

Why do people focus so much on celebrities?
I mean they are no different then anyone else.
They are just always in the spotlight.
Many people can act or sing, so what makes them so frickin' special.

And why can't people just leave them alone.
I mean that's probably all they want.

If you say love, I'll say you;

So my sister decided a while ago that she was never going to eat anything that is green.
I think it is ridiculous, but....
Well, today she confessed that the only green thing she will eat is green apples.

Hmm, I really don't know where I was going with this.
=]

If my life were a movie it would be in black and white;

Well, darn Megan has church songs stuck in my head to.
But the horrible part is I can't remember how any of them go.
They are in my head though.

I think one goes something like:
"Jump up down....something something"

Humph, stupid Megan, and Sienna for taking me to church
!

If my life had a soundtrack, it would be acoustic;

So what are all these food fights in A lunch about
I mean they technically aren't even real food fights because they last a total of 30 seconds.
Nothing ever comes remotely close to hitting my table.
And only three things get thrown, yet people are still jumping up like they might actually get hit with something.
That will be the day.

Which reminds me that today one of the snack machines in the back of the cafeteria broke open and people were acting like it was raining 100 dollar bills.
I swear some people are so shallow.

Bought a new life for a $1.25 an some sunglasses too;

Things I despise lately:

-Meat
-War
-A girl, who is a snob
-Writing essays
-Getting up early
-Final exams
-The distance between me and my "friends
"

I could be a better person, but I chose not to;

Somethings I really adore lately:

-BACKSEAT GOODBYE
-My myspace song
-Ryan Reynolds and real man time
-Laying in the grass
-Reading Harry Potter
-Going to concerts
-Singing extremely loud (as long as it's not in chorus)
-Salt 'n' vinegar chips
-Saying "vanilla-face", "egads", and "blasphemy"

I just want April to take my hand and pick me up again;

I wonder why one day I think something, then the next I think completely the opposite.
Like sometimes I really wish I had a boyfriend.
I mean it would be nice to have someone to kiss an cuddle with.
But the next day I'm glad I don't have one.
Because they are to much to worry about, and I really don't want to deal with that.
Plus most of my friends have boyfriends or did have boyfriends that acted like complete douches.

I need to find a boy that is like me and likes me, for who I am.
That would be wonderful.
But I don't think it will happen.

Of course I did have that until a certain thing called Florida took him away!

Still getting butterflies every once in a while;

I think that I should try to go to sleep at "normal" people hours.
I mean lately I've really screwed up my sleeping schedule.
I've been going to sleep at 3 a.m. and waking up at 4:30 a.m.
Then I will go to school and sleep when I come home until 5 p.m.
So I'm basically screwing myself in school because I can't concentrate on anything because I am tired.

Of course I've never really been "normal".

So this is it, the feeling that I miss;

I really wonder what happened to good T.V.
Now all I ever see if violence, or people trying to win money.
I miss good old cartoon shows like Rugrats, where they used their imaginations.

New cartoons are just sending out bad messages.
Or they are violent.
Think about how they influence children!

It just seems that people in this world don't think about anything anymore!

This is what we call a tragedy;

There's a concert tomorrow.
The Audition And Hit The Lights.

I really want to go.
But no one will but my tickets.
And I'm afraid to just show up with money at the door because they could sell out before I get to buy one.
Then I would be stranded in the city, with no way home.
But I've wanted to go for months.

I really hope this all works out!

The touch, the taste;

I am so addicted to that song right now, it's no where near funny.
It makes me sad and happy at the same time.
And I want to sing along with it every time I hear it.

I think music should be considered a drug, because it can impair you, by messing with your emotions.
You can be addicted to it.

I want to tell you a secret and leave it on your lips;

Well, I hate to say it, but my MOTHER made me not be a vegetarian.

She forced me to eat meat.
So I have to get a job so I can pay for my own food before I become a vegetarian again.
It sucks.
I went so long without meat, and she ruined it all.
And since I haven't had it in so long, I feel kind of sick.
=[

Your touch has me insane;

Ahhh.
I'm so glad I'm able to get online again.

For the whole day I couldn't get on the Internet.
So I had to resort to downloading music and talking to people on AIM all day.

But the good thing is I finally remembered to burn those Cd's for Megan.
So I think the whole Internet down thing was a conspiracy devised by my computer so I finally made me burn those Cd's.
Megan and my computer are in a cult against me!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Take a sad song, and make it better;

You know what's funny?

(comedians)

No, well yes, but also, how there seems to be a song for everything.
Or at least lyrics.

It's just ironic.
Something will happen to you and then you will hear a song and it will remind you of what just happened.
weird.

The fate of the world rests in the hands of the the un-noticed;

Have you ever read a book, that you could not stop reading.

With me that book is Harry Potter.
I adore it.
It is well written and funny, yet sad, and magical all at the same time.
J.K Rowling is one of the most talented writers ever.

She is my hero.
She went from having nothing, to having more money then the queen of England.
She wrote her stories on napkins in a little coffee shop, and now they are best selling books that have been translated into hundreds of languages.

That's what I call will-power!

Would you sit and watch the clock tick away the minutes of your life?;

If you think about it, no one really ever has the right time.
Only the military.
Technically, there is no such thing as time, it's just something we made up.
It's a sugar-coated form of the world.
It's nothing, yet everything all at once.
We can't live without time, yet sometimes we don't want to live with it.

Time is an illusion of the sun and a mechanism called a clock.

I'd swim out to where you were floating in the dark;

Why do people have to lie so much.

I mean if you say you will talk to someone if they ask you a question, why don't you try answering once in a while?
Or actually doing the PC4PC you say you will?

I mean , when I post bullitens about it now, no one will do it because they think I won't answer, but I always do!

People these days!

And if I could swim, I'd swim out to you in the ocean;

I really don't know why I bother filling out myspace surveys.
It's not like anyone actually reads them.
I guess I do i t just to keep myself preoccupied.

Plus, it' not like any one else on myspace's business.

Medically speaking you're adorable;

My mother is such a douche sometimes.
We were getting ready to eat dinner, and my jacket was sitting on the table.
So she went all berserk and started yelling and was like"when you go to your friends houses, you don't throw your jackets on their tables, do you?"

Actually I do, but try telling her that.
Sh is just crazy and won't listen to anything you have to say so I have to sit through all her crap.

I've got a twenty dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without make-up;

It's really weird to think that, to other people in the world, we have weird accents.
I mean, we can't understand some Indian peoples accents, but have you ever thought thy maybe they just can't understand you?

Ohhhh, no, you didn't.

It isn't easy growing up, so take my advice;

Why do teachers have to put so much stress on the finals?

I mean, I'm already freaked out enough because it is a teat and I usually bomb tests, but they are all like
"If you don't pass you have to repeat classes, blah blah blah"

It's giving me anxiety.
This is why people have nervous breakdowns.
Tests and teachers!

I'm an East Coast kid with a West Coast way;

I love how music can take a bad situation and make it good.

http://www.myspace.com/backseatgoodbye

They are lovely!

What's a crush to do when he can't get through;

Right now, I feel really shallow.
I've been thinking about stuff, and I change what guy I like almost every week.
I can't help it.
Then sometimes I feel like I don't need a boy but sometimes I feel like I really need someone to cuddle with.
Everything is just so confusing!

I've got birds in my, and a devil on my shoulder;

The people in this world are so discriminatory.
I was trying to get a job at Sorrento's, but they wouldn't let me.
And you know why!!!!!??????

BECAUSE I HAVE LIP RINGS!!!!
I mean they don't care about anything else, like my grades or my work skills, just the fact that I have facial piercings.
I mean they didn't even try to know me, they just said "Well, you might not be hired, because you have facial piercings."
How rude is that.

Sometimes I just lose all my faith in this world.

Guys like you make us look bad;

Some people just make me so mad!

I mean, we can't have anymore cafes at the school because....

1)Timmy, James, and Michelle (the one we don't like) got high in the school bathroom, and were making it completely obvious that they were
2)Garrett, Griffin, Timmy, James and , Cody did that stupid mentos in coke thing in the little loop of our school.


Stupid boys (and one girl
)!!!

Ryan Reynolds is a real man;

Today was a pretty fun day.


Me, Lindy, Megan , and Kayla skipped.
Well, we were supposed to leave after first period but Megan and Kayla got stuck in hall sweep, so me and Lindy had to sit out in the rain for 45 minutes.


We had such a good time naming all the trees and talking about duck people.
Then when Megan and Kayla were finally coming, we tried to hide from them, but it didn't work very well.
Then we were on our way to Lindy's house.
Buy the time we got there me and Lindy were soaking because it was raining, so I had to borrow pants.

We made chocolate chip/M&M/Cheerio pancakes with smiley faces in them.
Then we watched (or attempted to watch) Amityville horror.
But we couldn't concentrate because Ryan Reynolds (who is a real man ) was in it, so every time his character did something, we would go "Real men....."
It was quite hilarious.
Then we walked Kayla back up to school so she could go to 7th period.

Me Lindy and Megan walked to Timmy and James house and were yelling the whole time about how they weren't real men like Ryan Reynolds.

Then we left because their brother came home and we didn't want them to get in too much trouble.

So we went home and today was a good day.

I'm all tied up and I'm trying my best to get down;

Everyone, I'm sorry to say, that I didn't last my whole 24 hours of silence.
I mean I had to talk.
I stayed quiet all day in school, then I went to Megan's house and when we got inside we started screaming at each other.
Plus we were listening to good music, so we had to sing along.

I only said one word during school though and it was all Mandela's fault because he called my name and I accidentally said "yes?"
But I did pretty good.

I still fought for the cause all day in school, so I am proud of myself and I feel accomplished.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

It's going to be hard, but, baby, I know we can make it through this;

15 minutes.
That's all the time I have left to talk for 24 hours.
The sad thing is, no one is awake to talk to.

Its' going to be hard!

Perfectly imperfect;

You know if soda could be the perfect beverage, except for two things.

1) It doesnt make you any less thirsty.
I mean, if you are dehydrated, soda is not a good thing to drink because it will make you even more thirsty.

2) It has a lot of fat.
I mean if it did't I could drink it all the time, but I don't want to get fat, so I can't.

It just goes to show you that nothing in the world is perfect.

Hold me, hold me, never let me go;

Why do people continue to date people who are clearly not good for them?
I really just can't understand why people do things like that.

My friend Cheyenne is dating this boy named John, who she started going out with a year ago.
At first he was nice but then he started getting kind of violent and annoying.
But I put up with him because Chey is my friend, and I didn't want to upset her.
Now he controls her.
He won't let her do anything without his permission.
And he plays mind games with her like telling her he cheated on her and breaking up with her constantly.
I'm sick of it, but every time you try to tell her how you feel about John and her, she gets mad.
So I gave up.
All he does is treat her like crap, but she can't seem to stop "loving" him.

Then Amanda met this boy named Sean at the mall and they started going out.
I thought he was good for her a first, but then Lindy told me that he had been cheating on Amanda.
But when we tried to tell her, she didn't believe us.
So then last weekend at the mall they broke up, and she was saying all this stuff about how she was happy hey broke up, and that she wouldn't go back to him, but she is dating him AGAIN!

I just don't understand.
There are plenty of guys in the world, but some girls just seem to get stuck up on one.

Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time;

The cafe was tonight!


It was so wonderful.
I was getting ready to leave when James came and picked me up.
So we walked with Timmy up to the school.
When we got there Kayla, Michelle, Griffin, Cody, and Garrett were waiting by the flagpole, which is where we normally stand.
So we were waiting for Megan and Lindy to get there.
While we were waiting Garrett, Cody, Griffin, James, and Timmy decided to blow up Mentos and Coke, like boys do.
Which I don't understand why that is so interesting.


But then Megan and Lindy came, so me Kayla, Michelle, Lindy and Megan ran away so we could TIE-DYE SHIRTS!
I took my shirt that says "make love not war"
We were tie-dying, and I did Ryan's for him, because he is my one and only.
Then we just laid them on the grass to let them dry.


We were going to the playground, but when we got there, there were already little kids playing on it.
So we sat by the pond, and made geese mating noises.
Then Timmy and James came out of no where so we ran screaming away from them but it didn't work because we are slow.....extremely slow.
So we were playing around then h and Cody picked me up by my arms and legs and threatened to throw me in the lake, I thought they were joking, but then they kept getting closer to the lake and I screamed bloody murder until Megan rescued me.

So we were just walking around, and that's when the drama started.
Megan was upset with Timmy and all this, so we had to have an intervention.

Then me and Ryan walked around and talked.
We went outside and we saw that the trash can was knocked over.
Me Megan and Lindy ran over to clean it up so we could save the Earth.
Then this boy named Billy came over and hugged us for protecting the environment.
So we all made a new friend.

Then Lindy and James had a conflict, so Michelle was trying to make it better, but Megan gets protective of her friends so she ended up yelling at Michelle on accident.
Then they were all upset because they both thought the other one hated them, so me and Kayla intervened and made them make up.

So after everyone was all better, we laid on the side walk all over-lapping each other and waited for Lindy's mom to come and drive us home.
It was a fun night.

I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever;

Tomorrow is fighting violence with silence guys.
I'm going to make it through the whole day, I swear it.



But I realized it will be harder because I go to the mall every Friday, but this Friday I can't talk.
But I did get a white-board from my sister's history teacher to borrow.


Are you joining in?

This is your time to take a stand against violence in school and discrimination against gay/lesbian/bisexuals.

Keep rooting for me guys!

I need a bottle of something that will make this day less relevant;

How come when you turn on the news all you see is bad thing.
They only focus on the evil in the world.
Rapes, murders, robbers, and everything else wrong with he world.

That's why people are so scared to leave their houses.
And why people don't trust other people.
I mean you do have to be careful, but don't let it let you stop living your life.

For once, why can't they focus on the good in the world?

Celebrate the life that I've alrady got;

Yesterday was a wonderful day.

First, my school got a bomb threat, during my lunch period, so we had to go outside and stand there for half an hour.
Me Megan and Lindy found each other and talked to Phil, until those vultures came over.
Then we totally drained money from Austin so me and Megan could go to the we the kings concert.

Kayla and Michelle decided that they were going to leave and go somewhere else instead of staying in school and I said I would come too.
Megan and Lindy were supposed to come but, they didn't.
So me Kayla, Michelle, James, Cody, Garrett, and Gary went to MacDonald's.

It took us 20 minutes to decide what we were going to get, but we finally decided on two large drinks, and three large fries.
Then we walked back to school just in time to get the buses.

So I went home and then helped my mother with the lawn.
Which I hate doing because you get all hot and sweaty, plus there are bugs.
So after showering, I went to Lindy's house to meet up with Lindy, Megan, and Vicky.

We stood and waited for the light rail, and while we did we put pennies on the rail so they would get squished and then we picked them up.
Just to be different, I used a nickel.
Me and Megan made up the most awesome secret handshake ever!

So we train-hopped onto the light-rail and headed towards the Ottobar.
So we were taking off and I hit my face on the wall, which is when something dreadful happened.
I LOST MY LIP RING!
But I tied not to worry about it.
So we were riding and these church men get on with these name-tags.
One of them said "elder potter".
Ad Megan was trying to take a picture of it (OK, I helped), because she thought that the guys name was actually elder until me and Vicky explained that it was his title at the church.

So we were waiting for our stop to come up, when we saw the ticket checker man.
DUN DUN DUN!
So, he came over and Lindy (a terrible actress) pretended that she had lost our tickets.
So the ticket checker man (DUN DUN DUN!) told us we had to get off a t the next stop and get some tickets.
But, what a coincidence, the next stop was our stop, so we went on our merry way.

So then we had to ask three different people for directions.
We finally got there and Jenna was there.
So we waited in line, and Lindy started freaking out because a guy from we the kings walked by.
I told her to ask him for a hug..

So when the doors finally opened (17 minutes late) we went in.
When the first band started playing we ran to the stage and we were about 10-15 feet back.
They were good.
So, we watched all the bands never moving from our spots.
Then some girl kept hitting Megan in the face with her hair.
So we were trying to move away.

The bands were all good : Sing it loud, Charlotte something, and The cab were all amazing.
Then Valencia went on and people started going crazy.
Somehow we managed to get 5 feet away from the stage while they were on, and I felt bad because I kept squishing everyone because people behind me wouldn't stop pushing me.
I touched the lead singer!

We all got right up to the stage by the time we the kings went on, by some miracle.
It was hot and people were pushing us, but we persevered.
They cm on and it was a blast.
They sang some of my favorite song like check yes Juliet.

Then it was over so we ran out of the mad hot sweaty orgy ball.
But we had to stop and get signatures.
WE MET WE THE KINGS!
It was great.

Then since we thought the light-rail was closed because it was almost 12, we got a ride from Jenna.
But the light-rail was actually opened, the liars!
By the time I got home, my feet hurt, I had bruises, I was sweaty and I smelled, but it was so worth it!

One of the best days ever!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

So break it, break another little peice of my heart now baby;

I just want to know, if myspace is so popular, then how come they have so many technical problems.
I mean, it won't tell me when I have anything new, so I have to compulsively check my inbox and comments and friend requests.

Grr, it upsets me.

Casting a line out to sea, to see if i can catch a dream;

One thing that I find is totally malarkey is when a song gets stuck in your head.
And you can't get it out no matter what you do, and you have a need to listen to that song everyday or you will most likely die.
How queer, I wonder what makes a song gets stuck in your head.
But it is even worse when you get a song stuck in your head that you don't know the words to, but you just keep replaying the same line over and over again.

The mind is an amazing thing, so I won't question it's brilliance any further.

Baby, you wouldn't last a minute on the creek;

I love it how even after I say I'm not going to talk to someone I do anyway.
I just don't know why it is so hard.

Friday is going to be quite a challenge.
Think I can do it?

Well, in the words of the little engine that could....
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.....

Vegetarians taste better;

One thing about being a vegetarian is that people say some of the stupidest things to you.

For instance people have asked me if I eat chicken.
NO, I DO NOT EAT CHICKEN BECAUSE CHICKEN IS MEAT!
What is so hard to understand about that?
Then they try to go off on this rant about how fish is meat, but I eat fish.

1.Chicken is meat
2.Fish is not

Leave it alone people!

In times of disaster, peel off the plaster, and see what is underneath;

You know, I really wish people wouldn't judge other people before they know them.


So, there's this new kid at our school, and a lot of girls like him, so of course all the other guys are jealous.
So they keep calling him gay and whatnot and frankly, I'm sick of it.
I mean people are judging him before they even know him.
And just because you re jealous is no reason to hate someone.


He has been at out school 6 days and a whole mob of people wants to beat him up.
And I asked him how he liked the new school and he said he hated it because no one would leave him alone and people were being mean to him.


Think about how other people feel for once, world!

You're Frank Sinatra, then I'm Audrey Hepburn;

I'm in quite a predicament.

Every time I see this certain boy my stomach starts feeling all funny.
But I can't figure out if it is just him making me giddy, or if it is because I usually have no food in my stomach when I see him.

I guess I will have to run an experiment to see which it is.
But by golly, I love the feeling anyway.

Don't swallow the sun, the moon isn't bright enough!;

Ahh.
Today is such a beautiful day.

It's warm, but not hot, and there is a slight breeze.
The sun is shining, he grass is green.
The trees dressed themselves and everything just seems so happy!

What a positive day!
It just makes me feel so wonderful, like nothing could ever bring me down.

What a classic way to celebrate Earth day!

And he said "Baby, we could make it so much better";

Smile!
=]

Today is Earth day!
The best holiday ever!

The one day of the year where everyone should look at the world.
The day where everyone should look at nature and really sit back and appreciate it in all it's glory.
So go outside and just look at least once today.
Star-gaze, make pictures out of the clouds, lay in the grass, make wishes on the dandelion puffs, anything.
If you see a peice of trash, PICK IT UP!
I make it a point to pick up trash and not litter everyday, so if I can do it everyday, you can do it at least one day.
Go green for the new year and save the enviornment!
Think!


Monday, April 21, 2008

I should have known you'd bring me heartache;

I've been feeling really horrible the last coupe of days, and I can't figure out why.

Yesterday my mom wouldn't stop poking me, so i went all ballistic and started crying for no reason.
Then my two best friends didn't come to school today, so I had no one to talk to who would actually talk back, besides Phil, who I only get to talk to once or twice a day.
I feel like I'm losing my best friend to a girl who we just met this year, who happens to be my other best friend.
I feel like my friends are leaving me out of everything, and not telling me things.
I'm failing half my classes, and then freaking out about it.
And I feel lonely.
My life just feels so un-real right now, and quite bluntly I wish it was.

Sometimes I wish I could just go back and change everything.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Fighting violence with silence;

Only five more days until I take my vow of silence.

Who's joining in?

Remember to let them into your heart and you can start to make it better;

I don't understand why the world is so violent.
Everytime you turn on the news the only thing you hear about is rape, and murder, and all the bad things in the world.

No wonder the world is so bad, the only things people focus on are the bad things.
You can't even remember the good things in life anymore.
Now everyone is too worried about getting murdered when tehy walk out the door, they don't even notice teh world around them.
They don't take time to smell the flowers, or help out other people.

They are so self-absorbed and worried about themselves they forget that they are not the only people in the world.
Try to focus on teh good things in life, because it will make you a better person, all around.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

What ever happened to the world?;

I despise people who test products on animals.
I mean they are defensless against us.
Much of the experimentation-including pumping chemicals into rats' stomachs, hacking muscle tissue from dogs' thighs, and putting baby monkeys in isolation chambers far from their mothers-is paid for by you, the American taxpayer and consumer, yet you can't visit a laboratory and see how the government has spent your money.

If you feel the same way and want more info. go to
http://www.blogger.com/www.stopanimaltest.com

You can help.

A reminder that our past is filled with liars;

People who are upset and wont tell you what's wrong annoy me.
I mean, if you're upset, and you mope around all the time, I would think you would want to tell someone about it, but apparently not.
If you don't want to talk about it, don't make it so obvious that you're upset about something!

Can’t I just pretend I don’t mind;

My dad finally got a computer.
That means I can get online every weekend!

I'm happy.
Now I can post whenever I have something on my mind.
Yay!

Well we could carve hearts out of falling stars;

Yesterday was a good day.

After school me, Megan and Lindy decided to walk to A.W.O.L.
On the way we stopped at Kayla's house and she decided she wanted to come with us.
So we started walking.

Mind you, We were in Arbutus, and A.W.O.L. is in Catonsville.
So we had a long walk ahead of us.

We took a short cut through UMBC, but in the process, we got lost.
We had to call Megan' s dad to get directions three times, and we took off our shoes because it was godawful hot and we needed to air out our feet.
And we only saw ONE cute college guy.

We finally got out of UMBC, but we still had about two miles to go.
So, we walked, and walked and walked, until we called Sienna to see if she was home because we were particularly parched.
But she wasn't home.She drove by, talked to us for a moment, then drove off, without offering us a ride or drinks or anything.

We had to stop at record and tape traders to gt drinks before we all died.
We finally got there, and scared people by running and screaming until we went inside.
I have never been so thankful for air-conditioning.

We sat and talked, and told jokes to hot guys.
Then I got a blister and I asked Ben repeatedly for a band-aid and he shook me violently.
It was fun.
We walked down the street to Peace of Sunshine, so I could get a peace sign necklace, but they didn't have any.
But we all got bumper stickers that said "Vegetarians Taste Better"

The we left, and me and Lindy went back to Megan's house and played guitar hero, ate, got extremely mad, and then slept.

It was a wonderful day.
I hope I can have more days like that.

Yeah I'm numb and it really is that bad;

Empty, emotionless.

I feel that way right now.
I can't decide whether I'm happy or sad, angry or confused.
I could just as easily cry as I could laugh.

It's a weird feeling and I don't like it.

I'm a mess, but that's fine;

I'm mad, immensely so.
I'm not even sure if I should be this mad just because I find out a boy has a girlfriend.
Especially since I just met him three days ago, and he still doesn't know my name.

But I guess I should have expected him to have a girlfriend, because nothing that hot could possibly be single.

There's promise of summer in the air;

It's so nice to be able to go outside and smell spring.
There are actually leaves on the trees.
You don't have to wear jackets, and you can lay in grass that's not all dead.
You can let the sun warm your skin, and you don't have to prepare to freeze you butt off every time you open the door.

It's nice, but I know that by June I will wish it was December again!

I guess I'm better off friendless;

Miserable.

That is how I feel after finding out that I'm losing one of my very close friends.
We don't have anything to say to each other anymore.
I really hope we can regain our friendship.

On top of that, none of my "friends" from school will talk to me.They exclude emfrom things and won't tell me things.
I usually find out about important events a week later.

I don't have a reason or a simple excuse;

I feel kind of pathetic for drooling over a guy I've known a total of three days.
He doesn't even know my name.

And my best friend likes him, so if by some shift in the universe, or some gift from God, I get the chance to date him, i won't be able to because I will ultimately feel horrible.
Sometimes I feel like I've already stolen a guy from her.
I would never forgive myself if I did it again.

Something to think about;

If all your fingers are different sizes, how do gloves fit if all the fingers are the same size?

Beginnings and endings are pretty much the same thing;

Back to one of my other posts, why does everyone think it's so cool not to read anymore.
All of a sudden a book is irrelevant.

I think reading is one of the best things you can do in spare time.
It is the coolest thing you can do because boys can take you anywhere.

So instead of rotting your brain with T.V., read a book!

I’ve asked why, how, and where more times than I care to remember;

Grr.
Why does everyone keep telling me to get a boyfriend?
I don't need a boy to make me happy.

The reason I don't have boyfriend is because I don't want to deal with the hassle.
Which they bring a lot of.

And people keep inferring that the reason I don't have a boyfriend is because I can't get one.
Balderdash!
I have many boys that want to date me, I just choose not to date anyone.

Maybe I should just give up on boys all-together.
Maybe I'll pretend I'm a lesbian so people will leave me alone.

I need a new life;

Insomnia-the lack of being able to sleep or be in a sleep like state.
I think this word suits me.
I spend endless hours thinking while I lie in my bed, and by the time I fall asleep, my alarm goes off.
I'm amazed I don't fall asleep in the middle of school.

It's like I can't turn my brain off, and just not worry about all the stuff going on in my life.
I think I need Lunesta or something.

Good luck with all the things you took;

Have you noticed how you can't really have a deep meaningful conversation with anyone anymore.
No body wants to talk about the news, they'd much rather talk about what happened on American Idol last night.
No one wants to discuss a good book, they'd rather talk about myspace.
And no one seems to have opinions on the war, they just want to talk about music.

It's up to you to find beauty in the ugliest days;

For once, I wish somone would like me for who I am inside.
I'm sick of people sayig I'm "pretty" or "hot".
I want to be beautiful on the inside.

Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
And now, all "beauty is, is plastic surgery and photoshop.

And if I'm so "pretty", why don't I feel that way?

If you've never been wrong before;

I hate the fact that I can give advice, yet I can't follow it.
I mean, when people ask me about their relationship problems, I know exactly what to say, yet I can't hold a relationship to save my life.
I know how to make other people feel better but not myself.

Why is everything in life so difficult?

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

There's nothing a hug (and plastic surgeons) can't fix;

I hate how the world perceives the idea of beauty.
Perfect super-skinny body, perfect skin, perfect teeth, and drop dead gorgeous.

No one in real life looks like that, and to be completely frank, it makes all the rest of us girls feel like shit because we can't live up to their standards.
That's why Americans put out millions upon billion of dollars on plastic surgery a year.
Why girls break down for no apparent reason.
Why we have things like anorexia and bulimia.
Why people cut themselves, and commit suicide.

Seriously, why can't we just be more accepting of people.
And care more about how others feel.

So, drop dead gorgeous, why don't you just drop dead?

Just think about it.

It's amazing what you find, when you just open your eyes;

Today, I saw the most GORGEOUS boy I have ever seen in my life!
Seriously, hot, hot, HOT!
Me and all my friends were drooling over him all day.
Which I know isn't the best thing to do, but if you would have seen him.


I'd tap the 8 times, (20), in a row, forwards backwards, sideways, inside out.

Gore dried black as rainbows;

Right now, I am going to put the biggest cliche in the world, in my blog. That would be:love is pain, or love hurts. Don't try to deny it. You really only have to like someone for it to hurt, but love makes it hurt worse. If your parents hit you, doesn't it hurt more (emotionally) then if another kid hits you? You most likely love your parents, which is why they cause pain, even if they call you a name, it hurts, bad.

Of course if you've never loved someone, you can't possibly grasp how much they can hurt you.
Trust me, I've been hurt, and I'll give you three guesses as to whom it was who hurt me.
If you said boys (a.k.a. the root of all evil) you are correct.

OK, not that this boy dumped me, or hit me, or cheated on me. All he did was love me and move to Florida, then New York. And that's enough to do it.
You see, I met this boy whom we will call "Nigel" (which just so happens to be his real name) in 8th grade. As soon as I saw him, I knew I wanted to become his girlfriend, no matter what it took. Apparently all it took was one compliment about how nice he smelled and that did it.

We started dating. First we mostly just talked on the phone because, oh so conveniently, he asked me out the day before winter break, so we didn't see much of each other the first week we dated. We did normal boyfriend girlfriend things, sat next to each other at lunch, held hands, and went to the movies. And then out of the blue, he told me he loved me. I said it back, but at the time I wasn't positive if I really did. I mean, I had never been in love before, so how was I supposed to know. One day, something in me clicked, and I knew I loved him too.

Now, I know you're probably saying "Hold up, you can't fall in love in 8th grade!" B.S. There is no such thing as too young to know what love is. I mean you know you love your parents and your friends when you're little, right? I could really care less if you believe me or not. Love knows no boundaries, ages, or bank accounts. Love is love, plain and simple, in a pea-pod.

And if your wondering, when you are in love, time can seem to stop, your heart may feel as though it skipped a beat or jumped out of your chest, and you will get butterflies when they smile at you.

So, getting to the point. He tells me he is moving to Florida with his mother, who doesn't like e, by the way.
He moves.
Gone.
Not around.
We decided to try long distance, but halfway through my summer, he calls me and says it's not working out. He claimed it was so he didn't hurt me, part of me can believe that, and the other half me wants to.

Now, getting to the point, for real. I'm a wreck. Crying all the time, in and out of the guidance office, not eating, not sleeping, looking a mess. He calls and says he loves me but I don't understand how he could if he dumped me. Then he stops calling , and we lose contact all together. I think about him everyday, dream about him every night. Everything I did reflected him somehow, it was almost as if he could control me without talking to me. Since he spent 2 months living at my house, every room I would walk into would remind me of him. He visits Maryland, but for some unknown reason, I never get to see him. It's almost as if he's dead. Which is what i tell myself sometimes because I feel it is easier to handle that way.

I can't even put into words how much it hurts, how much I kiss him. We talk now, but it doesn't make it easier. Since I haven't seen him in over a year, I can't be sure that I still love him, but I know I still care. My heart still jumps when I hear his voice, and I feel butterflies climbing up my throat.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The words "best friend" become redifined;

I'm kind of upset how people say someone is their best friend and the next day, they have a new best friend.
They just use those words so lightly, but I think that they are more important then that.

Megan is my absolute best friend ever.
She is the only person I feel completely comfortable around.
She always knows exactly what to say to cheer me up, no matter what the situation is.
She has wonderful advice and is always willing to give it.
I tell her completely and utterly everything.....EVERYTHING!
I know that I can ask her anything no matter the topic or how stupid it is.
There is absolutely nothing I dislike about her.


It's almost as if she can read my mind.
Every time I'm trying to explain something to her, she gets it, even before I do.
She feels the same way about certain things.
It's like we were meant to be best friends.
She knows more about me then I know about myself.

If she wasn't around, my life would be boring as anything.
Who else would walk all the way to Catonsville, up-hill in winter just to go to A.W.O.L. with me?
Who would have random dance parties with me, and sing random disco songs we heard on the disco channel?
Who would change their name to Cheddar Swim Vim because of something we saw on Scene It!?
No one that's who.
And there's no one I'd rather share these memories with then Megan.

Me and Megan are going to be friends until we die.
And I know, whoever, if anyone , is reading this, is sitting there like "They'll probably hate each other next week", but we have such a special friendship, that I know it will last.
One day we will Move to Britain and leave this place behind and never have to look back.

I love you Megan♥

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Mr. Sandman, send me a dream;

Wow, dreams are weird.
Scientists still aren't even positive what they are.
But they think they are mostly your subconscious mind coming out.

I think that that means not everything you dream about has a meaning.
If you are a creative person, then you have a big jumble in your sub-conscious.
You will make things up, and they will reflect in your dreams.
So, don't waste your time trying to find some deeper meaning to all the dreams you have.

But, when you dream about a person, that is a different story.
I feel that when you dream about someone, they have a made a significant impact on your life in some way.
If they didn't then you probably wouldn't be dreaming about them.
Anyway. that's usually why I dream about people.

Your sub-conscious mind is an extraordinary thing.
If you clear your mind completely and get a piece of paper and a pen and write, you will b amazed at the things that can come out.

And I told them I invented times new roman;

I'm using this blog to congratulate the people who invented things, that rarely get recognized, but are marvelous all the same.

Walter E. Diemer-Bubble gum.
Otto Frederick Rohwedder-Bread-slicer.
The Chinese-Pillows.
Elias Howe-Zippers.
Arthur Fry & Spencer Silver-Post-it notes.
Herminie Cadolle-Bra.
Dianne Croteau-CPR Mannequin.
The Romans-Sidewalks.
Prehistoric Humans-Spoon, knife, and fork.
Phillips and Sony-DVDs.
William Pears-Soap.
The Egyptians-Glass windows.
Madame C.J. Walker-Shampoo.
Galileo-Thermometer.
Michael M. Rauhut, Robert W. Sombathy and Laszlo J. Bollyky-Glow-sticks.
Food And Drug Administration-Safety Seals.
Robert Cawdrey-Dictionary.
Plato-Recycling.

If I had a time machine, that would be fresh;

I wonder if they really can make a time travel machine.
You always see movies and books about them, but can they actually do it?
It's an odd thing to think about, because it's o complex.
I figure that they have to have invented a time machine, or else how would people know about them.
It's the same thing as faeries and all that stuff, they must exist, right?

Just think, what if there actually is a future going on right now, in a different dimenson.
Mind-boggling, I know.
Just think about it for a minute, you are living a perfectly ordinary life, yet at the same time there is a future you living. Or maybe there is even another dimension for the past, where your past life is living out simeltaneously with your current life.

Back to the point, if I had a time machine, I think I would travel to the 60's or 70's.
I mean, I'm all about peace, love, and free chioce.
Plus I love the music fom that time period.
I mean it's just all so happy, or it sends a positive message.


The past should stay dead;


Well, today I noticed something.
Me and my friend Megan are anti-war, and pro-peace, and like to hug trees, and we've been that way ever since I can remember.
Now, all of a sudden, it seems like everybody is like that.
Everyone has "be green" tee-shirts, or make ____ not war shirts.
They walk around with peace sign necklaces, and all.
It's all just a trend, because of the war.
As soon as it's over, or maybe even sooner, they will all be back to the same old way they were before.
They don't really care about the environment, or the world being peaceful, they just want to fit in!

It makes me angry, especially since I am one of the people that actually does want peace and cares about the environment.


And I feel as if the preppy people are stealing our trends.
For instance, we had huge sunglasses first, and we wore headbands.
I just feel that people should really just be yourself, not do what everyone else is doing just to fit in.
In 10 years half of the people you talk to now won't even remember you.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Sailing in the dark isn't smart kid;

Boredom is an odd thing.
You sit with nothing to do.
You feel emotionless, a black void, waiting for something to fill you.
People ask you what's wrong, and you say there's nothing to do, but actually there are a million things you could be doing.


Then, when you are bored, you have almost a routine.

You do the same things every time you say your bored.
Why not do something different.

I think boredom is just something that is in your head.
You make it up, and then believe it's true.
There's always something to do, you just have to think of it.
So, everyone believes their lies once in a while.

I really don't care if I'm rambling, I just know that this is what's in my head.

Nothing feels real anymore;


Have you ever heard a song that reminds you so exactly how you feel?
Or maybe it feels like it's describing exactly what's going on in your life?
It's odd, isn't it?
You can a hear a song from 1960's and it will remind you of your life.
Almost as if the artist is in your head, taking your thoughts and feelings and putting them in a song form.
Mind boggling, right?


I'm not taking my time anymore;

Yesterday I went to Timmy and James house after school.
We had plans to make pudding.Lindy was supposed to come, but couldn't because she was sick.
So me and Megan walked home with them and on the way there we sang our theme song.
If you're wondering, it goes a little something like this:
Dun, dun dun dundun, Dun duuuun, DUN.

When we got there we were faced with quite a dilemma.
What kind of pudding should we make?
Me and Megan wanted Vanilla, but Timmy and James wanted lemon or pumpkin spice.
After many arguments, thrown boxes of pudding and lots of hiding in the bathroom, we made vanilla.
Who's ever heard of lemon pudding anyway?
Then we "helped" do the chores by hiding in the shower.

We had to leave because we were going to take Lindy some pudding.
We almost died for that pudding because we had to sneak it by their dad.
And he is pretty scary.
So we walked that pudding all the way to Lindy's house.
What a fun day.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

The things we think about at night never lose taste;

Carnivals are exciting.
There are so many people around, and so many smells.And you can hear people screaming, and see all the flashing lights.

Me, Megan, Lindy and Vicky all went to the carnival yesterday.
And we spent 4 and a half hours there.
We screamed on every single ride we got on.
And when I say every, I mean every.
Zipper:Check
Gravitron:Check
Swings:Check
Ferris Wheel:Check
People were starting to hate us.

I think the best thing about carnivals is the people you meet there.
And we met plenty.
We suddenly decided that we were going to have a contest to see who could get the most strangers to ride the zipper with them.
So, we went out in search of people willing to ride with us.
It wasn't easy, and we got shot down plenty of times.
I finally got a boy named Clifford to ride with me.
And he screamed with me too.
Then I got a boy named Brendan and one named Jason.

Brendan was really cool, so we got on some other rides together and talked about things.
In the end Vicky won 7 to 4 for all of us.
And we ended up not leaving until 11 pm.
It was one of the best nights I've ever had.
And I got to share it with my best friends.